Rule numero uno, preached loud and clear in lesson #1 at the School of Hard Knocks. We graduated a while back, so we are more than equip to tell you all about how to live the baddest ass life you could ever dream of.
So repeat after us *chants* Trust No Man. Fear No Bitch. *ends chant*.... felt good didn't it.... yes we know.
This is the greatest rule in life because it's applicable to every situation you find yourself in throughout your existence. I mean, how often have we all been betrayed by bitches in braids and dons in air forces? Countless occasions... and we're tired of hiring hitmen to deal with their foolishness. It's very inconvenient and not to mention costly (as we could be spending money buying more piff and eating endless portions of Junior Spesh. Obviously. Mayonaise on the left boss...).
So start my remembering the following:
1.Never trust no man with a Jerry curl. They all lie. Most of them cheat. And even when their telling the truth, it's a lie in disguise. (look out for bottles of soul glo in their back pocket, secret weapon used to put shine on their lies, so they reflect off of the truth).
2. Never trust no man who uses words like 'YOLO'. One, cos it's like seriously stating the obvious... unless you thought that you could live more than once, in which case.... have fun at your dress rehearsal.
And two, cos noone likes Motto's anymore, they died in like the early millenium, like pedal pushers, leather trousers, porn with music and the Spice Girls minus Gerri Halliwell.
3. Never trust chicken heads. You know those chicks whose nails are longer than their weave and their weave is longer than their body? Yeah. Them ones. They are the ultimate untrustworthy hoes. They talk all this talk about malaysian hair this, virgin brazillian hair that, when really the hair on their chicken heads cost 2.99 a pack. Don't let the gloss of the one-can-a-day Olive Oil spray deceave you. These regular bitches be tryna look pristine since way back when in 2004. Don't be fooled.
3. Never let no bitch have your last Rolo. Or vodka shot. Or glass of wray and nephews and coke. Or last puff on the high grade. Or last pair of clean socks in your draw.
As said by Skepta. And embellished at the School of Hard Knocks.
We're slyly sympathetic to this for many reasons. Let us elaborate.
1. 'Cos we're tired of regular bitches tryna jump on our extraordinaryly irregular lifestyle
2. Rolo's aren't for kids, therefore it's only right that we keep them for the big dawgs only.
3. We live the kind of life where, even giving bitches eye contact is a priviledge.. so what makes them think they deserve any more than a priviledge??!! Get the fuck outta here. We're far to trill for the ishh.
So while we sit here counting our stacks and buffing the back of our hands to slap up the next bitch who tries to cross out path, we implore you to think twice before you pay any man and his bitch any mind.
Trust No Man. Fear No Bitch.
That's the real MOTTO Drake. That real shit.
Yours, Piff & Pimpin'!
BB
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